22 Jun Faking It…
On a recent Southwest flight home from Arizona, I stumbled upon a Redbook magazine that someone had left in the seat pocket in front of me. Was this chance? Some sort of in-flight miracle? Or was it, perhaps, another sign from the all-knowing Universe? I’m going with the latter, and here’s why…
After browsing through skin care products, summer salad recipes, and a couple of workout inserts (which I quickly threw back into the seat pocket), I stumbled upon an article called “Why We’re All Getting More Beautiful” by Leslie Garrett. The article itself was powerful, but there was one quote that really resonated with me…in fact, knowing the Universe, it may have actually been written FOR me and deliberately placed in my Southwest seat pocket. Anyway, back to the quote…
“Why does it feel natural to catalog our faults, but weird to appreciate our assets”
And beyond being unable to appreciate our physical assets, why do we feel the need to be so accountable for our failures, while simultaneously refusing to give ourselves credit for our wins.
As an ever-growing-changing-woman-child who has built an entire business around the concept of “Creating Luck”, I still find myself plagued by a fear that I may have just, well, gotten lucky (gasp!). Even as I read this aloud, it sounds ridiculous- especially given that I know first hand how hard I’ve worked for everything that I have. Blood, sweat, tears…you name it, I’ve probably excreted it.
When I got into Real Estate I remember my mentor telling me “fake it, until you make it”. And so I did. I faked the shit out of it…and eventually I made it (whatever that means). Fast forward to 2015 when I decided to try my hand at Interior Decorating. “Fake it until you make it, Dan”, I confidently reminded myself. And so I did. Up went the website. In came the business. And I can’t forget that one time (like yesterday), when I really faked it and co-wrote a 96 page magazine because my inner-writer told me I could probably get away with it. While all of this “faking it” seems to be really working for me, I have to admit it’s made it nearly impossible to take credit for my wins.
Sadly, I think a lot of successful women struggle with what has been referred to as “Fraud Syndrome”. Simply put, “Fraud Syndrome” is the fear or worry that someday “others” will find out that we aren’t as smart/beautiful/interesting/hard-working/nice as we led them to believe, and in the blink of an eye the jig will be up.
What if we did just get lucky? What if our only real talent is being really, really good at faking it? We made it, didn’t we? We’re riding the metaphorical victory wave, sipping on the sweet, sweet nectar of WELL-DESERVED success and we can’t even taste it! So I propose we make a lady-pact. Let’s agree to get comfortable with giving ourselves credit. Let’s make it a point to pat ourselves on the back once in a while. Let’s try receiving compliments, and for once believing in ourselves as much as others believe in us. Let’s agree that faking success is totally acceptable…but fake handbags are not.