“Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s Day?”

Tuesday night, 8:47pm. The kids have just gone to bed. My husband is watching something starring Keanu Reeves.  I despise Keanu. So I pick up my phone to engage in the mind numbing act of the “Insta-Scroll”…

Scroll. Sip Wine. Scroll. Sip. Scroll. Sip. Repeat. Total relaxation. That is, until someone who appears to be smarter, more accomplished, wealthier, skinnier, and/or prettier than me pops up in my Insta feed…

<<Side note: As a general rule, I try not to follow people who are skinnier than me or sell more Real Estate than I do. Or people who are really tan. >>

I go directly to the “potentially-better-than-me” person’s page.  And I scroll the shit out of their feed! Scroll. Compare. Scroll. Compare. Still sipping the entire time, obviously.

If “She” is skinnier than me then I won’t stop scrolling until I find out why. Is she on a juice cleanse? Probably genetics, right? Maybe she had a rib removed.  If “He” drives a Bugatti and spends 3 months out of the year in Fiji, it must be because he works longer hours than I do. But he doesn’t have kids. I have kids. So technically we’re like even. It’s a vicious little cycle that often ends with me polishing off a bowl of Frosted Flakes, stealing the remote back from my husband and watching “Real Housewives of New York” until I’ve re-centered my chi.

Which brings me to the following quote:


It’s a cute quote, and I get it. But I’m obviously better than my 26 year old self. Comparing my current self to my old self is too easy (she was a hot mess). I don’t want to be better than College- Slightly-Overweight-Dan. I want to be better than everyone else on this entire planet!

It turns out that’s not normal- or healthy. Go figure. And since I’m always down to better myself, I figured it was worth running by my life coach. After searching for the right way to tell me I’m completely psycho, she suggested a simple practice. Practice being happy for others and praising their success (like out loud!). What?! But, why? Well, apparently even the act of pretending to be happy for other people actually makes you feel more connected/confident.

Okay, I get it. Other’s success can, and should be, a motivator…not a divider or a scale upon which you measure our own self worth. If he/she has something you want, ask him/her how they got it. He or she will probably be happy to share. Be comfortable acknowledging other people’s blessings, because in doing so you open yourself up to receiving those very same blessings. Shine light on others’ success…and watch how brightly you begin to shine.

This is the part where I inevitably vow to change…so here it goes…

I vow to no longer compare my thigh gap to “hers”.

(But, I’m still convinced that she paid for at least half of her Instagram followers)

Peace, Love, Properties

– “Create Luck”