06 May Yo’ Momma!
An Open Love Letter to My Mother:
I remember when I fell in love with my Mother. I remember it vividly; because it was the same day I gave birth to my daughter. I remember how her eyes smiled and her face softened as she took my daughter into her arms for the first time. The love she felt for my daughter was tangible in that moment… probably the same love she had felt for me for the past 28 years but that I was just now grasping for the first time. From that day on we would be in this together, as Mothers.
My mom stayed with me for a week after Dylan was born. I remember sobbing hysterically when she left. I don’t remember ever feeling like I needed my mom as much as I did in that moment. It’s only now that I’m 5lbs and a pixie cut away from physically morphing into my own mother, that I feel like I “know”.
I know now that we’re not born mothers; but that we learn to be mothers via mistakes and a whole lot of trial-and-error. Though we refuse to admit it, we aren’t born selfless, but as mothers we learn to put ourselves last and to pretend not to mind. Though we are born strong, and capable, we never fully understand our strength until we carry the weight of our child on our shoulders for the first time. It turns out we are more than strong…and more than capable. We are f-ing super heroes. We come from a place of love, and we try so SO hard. We really do. We feel exhausted, and at times we feel judged. We wonder if we’re doing it right, and we pray at night that we’ll do better tomorrow. And we always do better. We go to bed last, sometimes without a thank you or a pat on the back, and that’s okay. We don’t ask for accolades, because we know they will come…some day. We love unconditionally and support our children’s dreams as if they were our very own. We drink cold coffee, and pretend we have to pee just to get a minute alone. I know now that being a mother is the most all-encompassing love that I’ve ever felt. And I know that no matter how hard it seems at times, I want to do it every day for the rest of my life.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom! Thank you for the countless sacrifices, the sleepless nights, the unwavering support, the occasional ass whoopin’ and above all else thank you for the unconditional love that has allowed me to walk my own path and to ultimately find myself here, with you. Mother to Mother.
Nothing but love.